Child Discipline – Proverbs 13:24

Spanking, according to Wikipedia, has historically been used by parents to discipline their children, but is waning in popularity as research has shown that it is not effective.  Advocates of spanking give quite detailed instructions about how it should be done to avoid the consequences research shows are negative.  Proverbs has often been appealed to as a blueprint for discipline.

Whoever spares the rod hates his son,

but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. (Proverbs 13:24, ESV)

Does the Bible advocate spanking?  It is hard to determine exactly how the rod was applied in the discipline of children.  In Exodus 21:20 there was the danger of using a rod to punish a slave to such a degree that he died.  When Yahweh takes David’s son to be the next step in a dynasty for David’s kingship He says He will discipline Solomon with the rod of men, leaving “stripes” (2 Samuel 7:14).  Job feels the rod of God on him most severely (Job 9:34; 21:9).  The psalmist anticipates Yahweh’s rod of iron dashing His enemies to pieces (Psalm 2:9) and His rod protecting him like a shepherd a sheep (Psalm 23:4).  And in Proverbs the rod is for the backs of fools (14:3).

But for the child it is said that use of the rod will not cause him to die  but will rescue his soul from Sheol (Proverbs 23:13,14).  It will bring wisdom to a child (Proverbs 29:15), driving the folly that is bound up in his heart far away (Proverbs 22:15).  So it must not be endorsing severe beatings.  Was it applied to the bottom?  No way of knowing, but it would not be unrealistic to think that parents figured out how to bring pain in a safe way, for that is the intent of the rod of discipline…pain.

Use of the “rod” is not the only way to bring pain.  It is not the only way to discipline, and Scripture does not claim it is.  Solomon is disciplining his son with instruction and expressing consequences.  Time out can be painful, taking away something the child enjoys can be painful.  Consequences for “foolishness” must be painful.  Spanking is most effective when a child is too young to be reasoned with.  All discipline must be done without anger.  The purpose of discipline is to correct, not punish.

If we do not associate foolishness with pain, foolishness will thrive in us.  It is bound up in our hearts, which is Proverbs’ way of saying that it is the controlling motivation of our hearts.  If we truly love our children, as God loves us, we will discipline them early and diligently, as God does us, in order to have a chance for them to embrace wisdom and not become evildoers.  Ours won’t be the only restraint on evil they experience, but it will be the most important and hopefully the most loving restraint they experience.  Teach your children well.