Friend of the Bridegroom – John 3:22-36

I like the explanation Ellicott gives in his commentary on John of the friend of the bridegroom in Jewish culture, the term John the Baptist uses of himself:  “The “friend of the bridegroom” was charged with the preliminaries of the marriage. He arranged the contract, acted for the bridegroom during the betrothal, and arranged for, and presided at, the festivities of the wedding-day itself. It was a position of honour, in proportion to the position of the bridegroom himself, and was given to his chief friend. That friend then joyed in his joy, and there was none brighter on that day than he. This in John’s thought is an illustration of his own position. The bridegroom is the Messiah; the bride is the Kingdom of God—the church, consisting of all who with pure hearts are willing to receive Him; the friend who has arranged the betrothal, who has prepared these hearts, is John himself.”

After these things Jesus and his disciples went into Judean territory and there he remained with them and he was baptizing.  Now John was also baptizing in Aenon near Salim, because there was a lot of water there, and people were coming and being baptized (John had not yet been put in prison).

A dispute arose among the disciples of John with one of the Jews concerning purification.  And they came to John and said, “Rabbi, the one who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you bore witness, look, he is baptizing and everyone is coming to him.”  John answered, “No one can receive anything unless it is given to him from heaven.  You can bear witness that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah, but I am one sent before him.’  The one who has the bride is the bridegroom.  But the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, greatly rejoices at the bridegroom’s voice.  So this joy of mine is full.  He must increase and I must decrease.”

“The one who comes from above is above all.  The one who is from the earth is from the earth and speaks from the earth.  The one who is from heaven is above all.  What he says and hears he bears witness to, and yet no one receives his testimony.  Whoever receives his testimony has put his seal on this, that God is true.  For the one God sent speaks the words of God, for God gives him the Spirit without measure.  The Father loves the Son and has given all things into his hand.  The one who believes in the Son has eternal life.  The one who disobeys the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God remains upon him.”  (John 3:22-36)

John the Baptist is still alerting people to the coming kingdom and the king Messiah, baptizing them for repentance.  Jesus is baptizing also, but when John’s disciples argue with another Jew about purification, of which baptism is a rite, they vent their frustration that Jesus is now seemingly in competition with their master.  But John corrects them with a beautiful illustration of the friend of the bridegroom’s role to decrease as the groom increases.  John was sent before Messiah, much like the prediction in Malachi 4 of Elijah returning before the great and dreadful day of Yahweh.

As in chapter 3 it is possible that John the apostle speaks further remarks to address the implications of John the Baptist’s message, beginning with  “The one who comes from above is above all.”  But I lean toward this being a continuation of John the Baptist’s speech. 

Jesus is the one from above to whom all creation belongs and who is above all as God, yet submissive within the Trinitarian relationship to the Father who has given him his message and to the Spirit to empower him in this incarnated life.  Jesus’ witness has been received by few, but whoever does receive him has eternal life right now, while those who don’t believe have God’s wrath abiding on them.  That believing in Jesus is a command is indicated by John’s statement that failure to obey is failure to believe.

When we bear testimony to who Jesus is we invite people to believe, but in essence we are bearing to them God’s command to trust the Son.  And like John the Baptist our effectiveness will not be dependent on us but on what is “given [us] from heaven.”

Discussion Questions

1. Describe your baptism experience.
2. Why do you think John the Baptist’s disciples were jealous for him against Jesus?  Why were they not following Jesus as Andrew and Peter and James and John now were?
3. John’s humility is remarkable.  He clearly understands his mission.  What lesson does he have to teach us?
4. What do you think it means when John says God gives Jesus the Spirit without measure?
5. What does John teach is the only necessary means to acquire eternal life?
6. How might you describe coming to Christ and believing in him as your first real obedience to God’s commands?