Godly Grief, Shame and Jealousy – 2 Corinthians 7

In Exodus 34 God describes Himself to Moses as a jealous God. For us, this seems a potentially petty way to speak, making God seem self-centered. But He is the most properly self-centered being in the universe whose love is absolutely best for us and without Whom we are entirely lost. He loves us so much that He must warn us against falling for anyone else. Such falling for another will cause our ruin. No one else can fulfill our deepest needs or guide us more truly in the path of life. This is the right kind of jealousy, godly jealousy.

It is the jealousy Paul feels for the Corinthians.

Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.

Make room in your hearts for us. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have taken advantage of no one. I do not say this to condemn you, for I said before that you are in our hearts, to die together and to live together. I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy.

For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more. For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. Therefore we are comforted.

And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you. (2 Corinthians 7 ESV)

The promises that God wants to dwell among us and that as we come out from among those who reject Him we are made sons and daughters of God (see 6:16-18) should move us to live undefiled lives with deep respect for our Holy God.  And it should move the Corinthians to keep their hearts opened to Paul, who himself lives and has lived that kind of life, even as Paul’s heart is opened to them.  They are his pride and joy.

Even in the midst of affliction while in ministry away from Corinth Paul was comforted by the report from Titus about their obedience in the matter of the individual who was disciplined.  Yes, it grieved the Corinthians to know that Paul was insulted by this person and that grieved Paul, but in the long run it was not for Paul’s sake that this needed to take place but for their sake as it revealed their earnest faith.  Their grief led to repentance.  It was a godly grief.

We learn from this that there is godly grief, godly shame, godly jealousy, and any number of Christian responses to life that are contrary to the worldly forms of those responses.  If grief, shame, jealousy, etc. lead to destructive consequences in our lives that is not from God.  He produces life in us, not death.  Shame that leaves me unable to continue or jealousy that leaves me hateful is from the enemy.  The enemy wants me dead and ineffective.

Discussion Questions for Small Groups

1. What do you value most in your relationships with people?
2. Do you think you have felt godly jealousy for someone you are in relationship with? Explain.
3. Why did Paul think it was crucial for the Corinthians to renounce their leaders for Paul?
4. Have you experienced grief or shame that paralyzed you and led to your pulling away from people and life?
5. Are there relationships you are in that tend to pull you away from the gospel or from Christ?
6. How can you cleanse yourself from any defilement and bring your holiness to completion in the fear of God?