Hearts of Deep Water – Proverbs 20:5

PowerofPositivity.com gives some easy ways to spot hidden motives and what you can do to avoid dealing with people who are trying to undermine you.  Pay attention to these experiences:

1. YOU’RE PICKING UP SOME UNUSUAL BODY LANGUAGE AND EYE CONTACT
2. YOU HAVE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AFTER SPEAKING TO THEM
3. THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO WANT THE SAME THING
4. USE OF TACTICS TO PERSUADE YOU
5. YOU ARE NOT THE FOCUS OF [the] CONVERSATION

But not all hidden motives are dangerous or negative.  It takes wisdom to draw them out.

The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. (Proverbs 20:5, ESV)

I am doing a study in Non-Violent Communication right now.  It is also called compassionate communication and it is the kind of communication that would be especially useful in groups that are seeking to provide governance for themselves and their organizations.  At its heart is the principle that everyone is driven or motivated by meeting their own needs.  When, as often occurs in settings where decisions about direction for an organization are being made, and someone wants to go in a direction no one else does, it is more helpful to seek to understand their needs than to cast blame.  Perhaps there is a way to meet their need that will move the process forward and meet everyone’s need.

The problem is, sometimes we don’t even understand what our own needs are and why they are surfacing as we relate to one another, let alone understanding the other person’s needs.  And that is what this proverb is speaking to.  It requires wisdom to draw out the water from this deep well called the human soul.

This proverb might be the basis for what we call counseling, the process of helping people find emotional healing through self-understanding.  But I have found that just being able to draw out someone’s motivations is not sufficient to bring about their healing.  There needs to be a more powerful motivation that comes to bear to enable them to change.  Perhaps this is where another proverb comes into play:

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.  What is desired in a man is steadfast love, and a poor man is better than a liar.  The fear of the LORD leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm. (Proverbs 19:21–23, ESV)