Jesus Wept – John 11:17-37

TheConversation.com talks about what ancient European and other cultures can teach us about death and mourning.  Death used to be handled in the home with grief expressed openly, often performed with ritualized weeping, wailing and shrieking.  Professional mourners were often hired, elaborate feasts served and funeral games played.  This is not too far from how Israelite culture conducted “funerals” in Jesus’ day.

Then, when Jesus came, he found Lazarus already four days in the tomb.  Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles.  Many had come from Jerusalem to Martha and Mary, to console them about their brother.  When Martha heard that Jesus was come she went out to meet him.  Mary was sitting in the house.  Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died.  But even now I know that whatever you ask God He will give you.”  Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”  Martha replied, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”  Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life.  Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.  Do you believe this?”  She said, “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who has come into the world.”

After saying this she went and called her sister Mary secretly, saying, “The teacher is here and has called for you.”  Hearing this she rose quickly and came to him.  Jesus had not yet entered the village but was still at the place where Martha went out to meet him.  When the Jews who were with her in the house to console her saw Mary get up and leave quickly, they followed her, thinking she was going to the tomb to mourn there.

When Mary arrived where Jesus was she fell down before his feet, saying, “Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died.”  When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who followed her also weeping, he felt deeply in his spirit and was disturbed.  And he said, “Where did you take him?”  They told him, “Lord, come and see.”  Jesus wept.  The Jews were saying then, “See how he loved him.”  But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept him from dying?”  (John 11:17-37 ESV)

The grieving process in this culture involved, usually, a lot of weeping out loud among a lot of people, and often a hired group of weepers to help communicate the emotion of loss and perhaps to cover the noisiness of the family and friends.  Lazarus was so well known that there were large crowds at his home with people even from Jerusalem a couple of miles away.  The disposition of the two women is shown again to be different, with Martha coming to meet Jesus when she hears he is approaching (someone must have come ahead from Jesus’ traveling party) and greeting him indirectly with the question that was on everyone’s mind, “Why didn’t you come sooner and heal him,” though she also expresses confidence in Jesus authority and intimacy with God.  She seemingly doesn’t understand Jesus’ response as meaning he is going to raise Lazarus now, or perhaps she is unwilling to hope for this.

Mary comes later, still weeping, and asking the same question indirectly. When Jesus sees her emotion and the emotion of the others he begins crying, also.  Whereas Martha and Mary are struggling with Jesus’ delay in coming, and  yet they trust Jesus, the crowd is angry with him.  These are the two ways we can respond to God’s “failure” to meet our needs the way we think He should.  It does no good to pretend we aren’t angry with Him in such cases.  He already knows, of course.  Rather, we need to interact with Him as Martha and Mary did.  “Lord,” we might need to say, “I don’t understand why you didn’t do for me what I asked, but chose to let me suffer this way.”  He welcomes this kind of dialogue and wants to help us to the place of confidence that Mary and Martha came to.

Discussion Questions

1. Describe a time when you have been hard to console.
2. What do you think Martha was thinking that Jesus could do at this point?
3. What does Jesus mean when he says he is the resurrection and the life?
4. Martha uses three titles for Jesus, Messiah, Son of God, and teacher.  What does each signify to you?
5. How do you feel about Jesus weeping?  Do you feel comfortable weeping?
6. Would you be willing to address Jesus about your disappointments in him?