Managing Pain – 2 Corinthians 1:23-2:11

You see someone for the first time since they’ve experienced tragic loss. Do you mention their loss and talk about it? Absolutely! It happened to me just the other day and it was apparent that talking about it was exactly what was needed. Yes, my friends’ pain was evident, but it helped to grieve with someone.

Yet there are other painful situations where it is best that you don’t bring up the pain. Like when someone has sinned and brought grief into their lives. You don’t rehearse their sin with them, but simply love them. This is what Paul was facing with the Corinthians. He hadn’t visited them as planned because God had made it clear to him that they didn’t need another painful visit. His visit would highlight a painful situation they were needing to handle.

But I call God to witness against me—it was to spare you that I refrained from coming again to Corinth. Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.

For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.

Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. (2 Corinthians 1:23-2:11 ESV)

Paul had made a painful visit after the writing of 1 Corinthians in which someone had been offensive to Paul and needed church discipline.  Paul had written that he wasn’t coming until that matter was dealt with because he didn’t want to come and create a painful experience but to share his joy with them.  His love for them was abundant.  But they seem to have excessively disciplined the man so Paul is encouraging them to reaffirm their love for him and his agreement with their forgiveness of the man.

Paul knows what we should know, that Satan’s greatest feat against the church is to compromise our unity.  With the gospel as our rallying doctrine nothing is more important than that we love one another and act together to see the progress of the gospel accomplished.  Nothing!

Paul has not said it directly, but the current way the Corinthians are treating him is yet another divisive design by Satan. As Paul says, he does not “lord it over” their faith. He is not going to command them to repent. That doesn’t work anyway. He is going to use loving persuasion to help them to the truth. Unity is a necessity for the church. He cannot simply pull away. Satan would win if he did that.

Discussion Questions for Small Groups

1. What is one of the hardest things you have ever done?
2. What kind of pain was involved in what you did and how did you manage it?
3. What do you think about the suggestion that it is right to bring up what someone is grieving over if it is tragic loss, versus not bringing it up when it is personal shame?
4. How did Paul explain his refusal to make a painful visit to Corinth?
5. How would you explain Satan’s design for countering the work of God?
6. Have you in any way been taken in by Satan’s design, and if so, what do you need to do not be outwitted by him?