Noisy Gong, Clanging Cymbal – 1 Corinthians 13:1

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. (ESV)

Increasing my value in the eyes of others competes with God’s calling on my life to love others.

A noisy gong or a clanging cymbal is a wonderful and impressive thing in the right context.  When it contributes to the overall impact of a musical piece or signals a powerful message of warning or alarm, it is fulfilling a larger purpose and has meaning.  But when it seeks to impress with sheer volume or tension-producing sound it is not there to serve but to be served.  If it is all about itself it does an injustice to its purpose.

Likewise, when I exercise my abilities so that others will be impacted by how powerful and wonderful I am, I am doing an injustice to myself, to them, and to my God.  He made me to serve His bigger purpose of serving others, not myself. I am to use the gifts He has given me to benefit my fellow human beings, not draw attention to myself.

We feel sorry for the man whose gifting is putting people at ease and making relational connection with people who is nevertheless relegated to a desk all day long in isolation.  We cringe at the person whose calling is to serve in quiet ways but who is thrust into the role of being an emcee.  And the person who must give up inspired leadership that makes a huge difference for countless people because he or she is expected to follow a fool, tears our hearts out because a person who follows the purpose for which God made them changes the world in wonderful ways.

But we were not made to do anything less than love others to the max and this inevitably involves turning the limelight away from us so we can see others better.  Focusing on ourselves sometimes seems necessary because we are in pain thinking that no one loves us for who we are.  We feel we have to establish ourselves first before we can help others.  But it is a deception that will destroy us, never delivering on its promise to gain us the acceptance we desperately desire.

I talked to a 55 year old woman who has been distance-dating a man who has been married twice and who, in her estimation, based on 4 months of texting, emailing and phone calling, is convinced that he is of the highest quality.  She has made herself sick anticipating that he won’t think she’s enough.  In her thinking she only has worth if a man thinks she hung the moon.  If she were to love him as God designed her to love, she would be thinking of what might bless him as they interact.  She would be wondering if he is really a suitable candidate for her commitment and whether compatibility would make them a good team that could affect the world in a positive way.

Instead, she is putting incredible pressure on him to be the one who invests her with the value and worth that only God can vest us with.  She is not fulfilling the purpose for which God put her here.  Instead of being a lover of others, she is unremittingly giving herself to a man in what seems to be unconditional love and commitment, but is really a bid for him to prove to her that she is worth something.

She has become that noisy gong or clanging cymbal, impressive in one sense, but isolated from her true purpose of making others sound better in harmony with her.  She is too concerned that they will hear her and be impressed, though she is not sure she is impressive.  It is painful to watch.