Singleness – Matthew 19:10-12

“John Robert Walmsley Stott CBE (27 April 1921 – 27 July 2011) was an English Anglican priest and theologian who was noted as a leader of the worldwide evangelical movement. He was one of the principal authors of the Lausanne Covenant in 1974. In 2005, Time magazine ranked Stott among the 100 most influential people in the world.” So reads the Wikipedia article on this great church statesman. And he was single his whole life. Would your church hire a single man as a pastor?

We have gotten a bit weird about singleness. The disciples of Jesus weren’t really thinking about singleness as much as how hard it was to be married, but it occasioned a powerful statement by Jesus on singleness.

The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”   (Matthew 19:10-12 ESV)

Jesus’ own disciples think his stand on divorce is tough and that, given how easy it is to lose love for one’s spouse and how miserable that can be to stay together, the best course would be not to get married.  Jesus does not contest this but uses the opportunity to address the issue of staying single or unmarried.

Staying unmarried as a choice is not something everyone can do but something one must be given to do by God.  Jesus’ assumptions are that one, most people cannot keep themselves from sexual interaction without becoming completely distracted by that, and two, sexual interaction is only permissible in marriage. So, without marriage one must abstain from sex and this is not something everyone can do.  Paul says the same thing in 1 Corinthians 7:7.

Jesus describes those who are unable to have a sexual relationship because of birth defects, those who are rendered incapable of sexual relationship at the hands of men in order to make them safe servants who can watch over the women, and those who choose to remain unmarried because their commitment to the kingdom motivates them more than their desire for a sexual relationship.  Being in this last situation does not mean this person has no sexual desire but that it does not overwhelm his or her purpose to serve the kingdom. 

Paul teaches that even though for married couples there must be a priority given to their marriage, there must also be a commitment to the kingdom that in some ways transcends the purpose of marriage at times (1 Corinthians 7:28-31).  But remaining single makes this focus on the kingdom all the more easy.

We seem to have made it a done deal that everyone should get married. We’re uncomfortable with those who don’t. What’s wrong with them, we think. But nothing may be wrong with them. Something may be quite right with them. They might be gifted to remain single because they are not overwhelmed with sexual temptation and have chosen to serve the kingdom without the anxiety of pleasing another (1 Corinthians 7:32-34). All of his or her concern is pleasing God.