To the Woman – Genesis 3:16

Childbirth has moved from a community, women-only in the home experience, to a hospital, doctors and nurses only medicated experience, to a hospital with dads invited experience, to a multi-option (hospital, home, birth tub, doula, family) experience.  But always, the arrival of that child who has been developing in the mother’s body is the most extraordinary and life-changing experience a person can have, despite the pain.  What if it hadn’t been so painful?

To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.  Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16, ESV)

The consequences for the woman’s disobedience is a shift in two major areas of her life, childbearing and her relationship to her husband.  It appears that, originally, childbirth would not have been attended by pain, or at least by as much pain, as it is now that we have rebelled against God.  Why is God making it this way?  He is not taking away from the beauty of childbirth, but adding a frustrating element to it.  Childbirth should be unadulterated joy.  But from now on it will be mixed with an element of danger and discouragement.  There is a futility to this that was not present before sin entered the garden.  Life can no longer be expected to work as it originally would have.  It won’t be perfect anymore.

And the same goes for the marital relationship.  Whereas there was perfect harmony between Adam and Eve, perfect partnership without conflict or disappointment, now, with two sinners in relationship, there will be a power struggle.  The Hebrew literally reads, “Your desire will be for your husband,” and has spurred two interpretations of this power struggle.  The one is that the woman will continue to desire her husband even though he rules over her, and we have certainly seen this dynamic at work in too many relationships.  The second view, the one taken by the ESV and the most likely, is that “desire” in this case is desire to rule over her husband (as in Genesis 4:7, where sin’s desire is for Cain, that is, it desires to rule over him).  We have certainly also seen this dynamic in all marriages.  Husbands and wives cannot trust each other fully because each is capable of great sinfulness (think Adam blaming Eve for his decision to eat the fruit).  This too is futility added to what would have been only a life producing experience.

Is God saying this is the way things must stay?  Should we not seek for a way to relieve the pain of childbirth?  Should we not seek for a way to balance power in relationships?  In one sense we may say that life is all about seeking to overcome the futility and frustration of life as it has been given us.  It is not right for either a man or a woman to seek power over one another.  Harmony is still the desired relationship.  But sin makes it so much harder to achieve.