Where Holiness Matters Most – Colossians 3:18-4:1

Mark Holmen of Focus on the Family writes about an experience he had co-teaching a seminar for parents called “Nurturing Faith of Teenagers” with Dr. David Anderson. Anderson asked the parents how many of them wished their teens had stronger faith, and every hand went up. Then he said, “The truth is that what we see in our teenagers’ faith is a mirror image of our own faith. So, the issue is not their faith, but your faith.”

As Paul is trying to teach us, holiness is not real if it is not a reality in our own families. If we don’t live out our faith there our faith is not really changing us.

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. (Colossians 3:18-4:1, ESV)

Righteousness has implications for the way we live as families. In the Colossian context the household usually consisted of parents, children and slaves, unless you were very poor indeed. So Paul briefly addresses each family member according to their role.

Wives and husbands are to demonstrate a mutual submission, the wife’s submission being in a subordinate role to the husband’s leadership, the husband’s submission being a loving and gentle leader. There is no room in God’s righteousness for spouses who do not treat one another with the utmost respect, as is fitting in the Lord.

Children are to be obedient and parents are to be gracious. Provoking one’s child would cover a number of behaviors like harsh discipline, impatient discipline, over control and even relational distance. The environment for a child of Christians, and indeed for any child, ought to be one of encouragement.

Slaves are to obey their masters with a sincere desire to serve the Lord Jesus instead of yielding to the temptation to just get by with acceptable service. And masters are to demonstrate justice and fairness just like they would like to receive from their Heavenly Master.

This is what a household, workplace, any relationship should look like for those letting the word of Christ dwell richly in them and the peace of Christ ruling in their hearts. This is how the new man we have clothed ourselves with in Christ will manifest the new life in relationships.