Daily Thoughts from Romans: Your Relationship Platform (12:9-21)

Daily Thoughts from Romans: Your Relationship Platform

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  (Romans 12:9-21 ESV)

Here are the behaviors that flow from the life submitted to Jesus and being renewed in mind:

– Genuine love, because real love cannot be otherwise

– Commitment to good and against evil, because the heart of the believer knows the difference

– Brotherly affection that takes joy in promoting others above oneself

– Zealous and fervent service to Jesus

– Real hope that gives one patience in the hard times

– Constant prayer to derive strength from God and bring grace to others

– Love even toward persecutors

– Genuine sympathy with believers and harmony and peace between brothers

– Forsaking of vengeance, seeking to live at peace with all and even doing good to those who hate you

In essence, Paul has given a brief yet powerful summary of what the life of a living sacrifice is to look like.  Though we have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us and leading us into obedience to God (Romans 8), it helps to have a standard to look at.  We need to see if we are experiencing the work of the Spirit in our lives, putting to death the deeds of the body (8:13).  Are you learning to love other believers, indeed all people, putting others before yourself?  Are you learning patience in hard times?  Does talking to God occupy your waking hours because you have real relationship with Him?  Are you learning to leave vengeance to God?  Are you seeing these characteristics active in every relationship  you have?

When I was working with young people I discovered that Paul’s checklist in this passage was useful for thinking about how dating relationships were conducted.  Seems we have the capacity to separate off certain kinds of relationships with different expectations, and dating was one of those areas we tended to separate off.  Instead of thinking in terms of how we would serve one another in that relationship the focus was too often on how the other person could serve me.  The process of choosing a mate put the focus on my needs in a spouse and I tested all dating relationships by that standard.  But that is not God’s way of relationship.  It is not what you can do for me but what I can do for you.  What relationship area have you been consciously or unconsciously holding on a different platform from the principles here in Romans 12?  God doesn’t have any different platform for relationship.