Should Spouses Submit to Each Other?

Question: Why should I submit to my spouse or my spouse to me? Shouldn’t it be 50/50?

Answer: I suppose it should be 100/100, but regardless of that, submission is really a matter of practicality. There is a need to have someone who makes the final decision. There is nothing wrong with the person who has that authority letting the one or ones under his or her authority be a part of that decision or even letting them make the decision. But the bottom-line responsibility rests with the person in authority.

It seems God has given husbands authority in their families, not because they are superior to their wives in decision making skills or intelligence or any other factor, but because that is how He chose it to be, and it reflects our relationship to Him (Ephesians 5:22-33). You would not expect your boss at work to be required to accept that his employees would get 50% of the say in whatever decisions are made (whatever that looks like). He might choose to let employees make some of the decisions or weigh in on many of them. That is good leadership. But the ultimate responsibility lies with the boss as to what decisions are made, and that might require doing something the employees don’t like, yet is for their good or the company’s good. Authority is a serious responsibility before God and should be exercised in humble dependence on Him.

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Randall Johnson

About the Author

Randall Johnson

A full-time pastor since 1979, Randall originally graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary (ThM) in 1979 and from Reformed Theological Seminary (DMin) in 1998. He is married with four grown children and a pile of epic grandchildren.

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